Wednesday, January 27, 2010


It’s so hard to say I love you and not draw back in tears. It’s so hard to know that you’re not there to help me face my fears. It’s so hard to know the phone is at reach but I can’t hear your voice. It’s so hard to see you laughing when I’m crying deep down inside. It’s so hard to just find feelings and now have to make them hide. It’s so hard to live without you, more than words can explain. I wanna scream how much I love you but I hold back to not be heard. It’s so hard to not go to sleep at night when I can’t dream of you. It’s so hard to think you might fall in love with someone new. It’s so hard to not start crying when I hear your favorite song. It’s so hard to sit and wonder where I went wrong. It’s so hard to live without you. If I would have only known, I will never love another. I would rather be alone.”

“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.” — Lemony Snicket

No, don't even tell me you were ever in love with me because I know better, I know that no one just falls out of love. It's too strong for that. And don't give me that look, I know that look in your eyes, cause I can see through them and into your mind and maybe even your soul and I don't feel love, I don't feel anything.

We weren’t meant to be. So, maybe I was wrong in thinkin’ we were meant to be & that we were made for each other. Maybe we were never supposed to fall in love the way we did. Hell, we probably weren’t even supposed to meet when we did or maybe we shouldn’t have met at all. But I know this much, if we aren’t meant to be, I cant seem to come to terms of saying goodbye to you, and if we weren’t supposed to fall in love then it was the most beautiful mistake I’ve ever made, and if I hadn’t have met you, I probably wouldn’t be the young woman I am today. I loved you with everything I had in me.

“Sometimes people having breakdown problems can look very beautiful because they have that fragile something to the way they move or walk. They put on a mood that makes them more beautiful.” — Andy Warhol

It is a reality of life that you will occasionally experience pain, frustration, offence, loss, and injury. Life is filled with such experiences; whether physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual; whether individual or familial; and someone, somewhere at some time will contribute to a negative experience that will hurt, anger or disappoint you.  Many individuals are journeying through life with emotional and psychological stress and strain from a variety of past hurts. Some may have resentments against a parent, relative, or friend who has wronged them in the past. The pain or loss occurred sometime BEFORE, it was the PAST. The event is over now, even though some of the consequences may continue. How it continues and for how long is greatly determined by the one bearing the hurt.

“The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when Sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and go, “No, I’m happy for you”? That’s when it’s really sad.” — John Mayer

“We were never lovers, and we never will be, now. I do not regret that, however. I regret the conversations we never had, the time we did not spend together. I regret that I never told him that he made me happy, when I was in his company. The world was the better for his being in it. These things alone do I now regret: things left unsaid. And he is gone, and I am old.” — The Sandman #72, part three of “The Wake”; Neil Gaiman

“You’ll forget about him, eventually you will. Maybe not now… but soon. You’ll be able to get through the pain, you just have to trust yourself. Trust other people, let that broken heart be fixed by someone better than the douche who broke it. It will take time, but it will all be worth it.

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