Saturday, February 20, 2010


I have this special friend named Tyron. He was very sweet and caring. He always checked on me and treated me a 'special' person. Suddenly I realized, I was falling for him.

On March 14, he proposed to me and we became a couple. He remained sweet and loving to me. Every 14th of the month he would say "Cheska, I have to tell you something..." but will not continue it and say it was nothing. I became curious, was he about to break up with me? But I continued to trust him. our graduation is coming -- on March 14, 4 years later. I knew that after this night, my family and I would be leaving for the states. We knew this time would come, and I never expected it to hurt so much. But I have to go and leave him.

We promised to stay in touch and never forget each other. he gave me a box of chocolates, flowers, pictures of us together and a locket. and so, I left with memories of Tyron in my heart. We always e-mailed each other and communicated. i told him how I loved life here, I partied every Friday with my friends, went shopping...I was living the life I always wished I had. But I was never able to read Tyron's last letter because of my hectic schedule. I promised myself to read it when I found the time.

Then suddenly, it stopped (his letters and e-mails). I was wondering why he isn't;t writing to me anymore. But I understand maybe he has work to do. He didn't even greet me on March 14. After several months still without communication, I found time to read his last letter and it was the most shocking moment in my life --

" Cheska,

This is my last letter to you. remember when I was supposed to tell you something important but was never able to do so? I wanted to tell you that my "moment" (it means death) is March 14, exactly 1 year later after you left and 5 years after I proposed to you. That was what the doctor said. I have this sickness, I forgot what it was called. All i know is that I'm going to die soon. I'm not telling you to come back after reading this letter, I just wanted to let you know that I will always love you and that forever you will be in my heart. I love you cheska. Thank you for changing me. Thank you for everything. goodbye I'm gonna miss you

Lots of love,

I wanted to cry and shout his name. March 14 was 3 months ago! He died 3 months ago! And I never knew because I was so busy enjoying my life here when someone I loved so much was suffering from an unidentified sickness. Up to this day I still feel guilty, I could have been right beside Tyron when he was ill, but I was here partying and eating my heart out. I was so guilty. He died. tyron died. Until his last breath he wanted to be with me. But I wasn't there. I went back to the Philippines and visited his grave. In it was written, "To Tyron, who loved Cheska so much, may he forever rest in peace" And he died on March 14. March 14, when this day comes, I cry, laugh, think and feel guilty, this day I feel mixed emotions. I hate myself. Why do I have to read his last letter when it was too late? Why do I have to leave anyway? These questions keep going on my mind. But I can do nothing now. Tyron is up there. I guess he wanted me to be happy. I still love Tyron. and I miss him so much.

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