Sunday, January 24, 2010

OF HEARTACHES AND GOODBYES - 01/25/2010

“Be thankful for every heartbreak, for they were planned. They come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. Their purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life. And you do.”

“I never understood the reasoning for someone to “move on” from a relationship. It’s not like you are really going to “move on”, you are just trying to tell your heart to stop thinking about that person every second of every minute of everyday until it finally becomes a routine and you don’t notice it anymore. That is, until you see that person again, with someone who isn’t you, and then you have to remind yourself again.”

The worst thing is loving someone when you know you shouldn't anymore. It's caring about someone, wondering how they are and what they're up to when the truth is they've stopped wondering about you a long time ago. The worst thing is remembering every single detail or your relationship when he's obviously long forgotten about you. The worst thing is missing him so much when he doesn't even realize you're gone, the worst thing is feeling the same as you ever did, knowing you shouldn't, because he doesn't anymore.

“This is about you not being able to commit, because committing means saying goodbye to whatever unfulfilled fantasy of love you’ve concocted after seeing too many Meg Ryan movies. But men don’t come and make everything all better - they’re only human. And you shouldn’t punish him because you were forced to grow up so fast you never learned how to let someone else take care of you. He’s not your father, okay, he’s not necessarily gonna disappear at the first sign of trouble. And, as scary as it is to consider letting yourself be truly vulnerable with another human being, what’s even scarier is that deep down inside you know you picked this man…and if you run away from him now, you’ll be running away from being the kind of person you always wanted to be. ” — Scrubs

I love the way you smile, and laugh. I love when we walk and our hands touch by accident or when were together we can get into fights about something so ridiculous and make up 2 minutes later. I enjoy almost everything about you, except that you're not mine.

“In time, the hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let it go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong, I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them for fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn’t ever want to lose that.” — Nicholas Sparks

I can’t decide if I want to forget you and move on, or keep holding on. It’s not really my choice anyway, but even if it was, I couldn’t decide. And I don’t know if I want to see you or not. I don’t know what’s worse; not seeing you and missing you, or seeing you and just feeling worse for not being able to be close to you. My eyes search for you, always. The only problem is, once I find you, I can’t do anything. I’m paralyzed. Being so close, yet so far, it’s unbearable. You’re always just out of reach. I wonder why my heart won’t let go of something so impossible?

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