It’s basic. It’s simple. I want to tell you everything you want to hear, but I’m just too much of a pussy to do so.
I want to rant and tell you how much I hate it at times when you do those things. I want to kiss-up to you naturally and tell you those flattering words that come to my mind when we talk. I want to vent to you about some things that’s been going on. I want to be closer to you, basically. I can’t do that though. I am too afraid to tell you all of the things that run through my mind. I even want to tell you how what I’m doing on the daily isn’t worth it.
You might be mistaken me by thinking I want a relationship. I honestly don’t. Not at the moment that is. I just want to be the one you go to when you need to just let things out. I want you to be the one to come to me when you need help. That is all. I wish I could tell you that, but you probably wouldn’t believe me. Another reason why I’m scared. I wish that I was just drunk one day and I just told you everything without even thinking about it. The only thing that’s probably good about getting boozed up to me. Too bad, I don’t drink, because I really want to tell you that without the feeling of insecurity.
I hate you so much for making me want this and not having it. Being a failure for this and not doing anything about it. It’s all you. You can make me do things I’d never even think of. Hmph. Though, sometimes, it’s the best thing ever.
Hopefully, someday I can tell you everything. Someday, I’m going to just spit it out. Whether you like it or not, I’m just going to smile, because holding all this in for so many months is hard work. It’ll feel good to let it all go.
Got this and reblog it from Leslie. Check more of her blog.. its fun and interesting to read.